Jedi

Jedi‘s always cast peculiar shadows. Always.

A Jedi is a follower of Jedism, a religious faith originating from Buddhism (seekers of Enlightenment), Taoism/Daoism (seekers of Balance) and Sophistry (seekers of Entertainment).

According to the recent census in the United Kingdom over 2.5% of the population class themselves to be of this religion and it is widely regarded as one of the largest growing minority religions in the country.

History

The word Jedi is derived from the ancient Punic words jedee (je-dee) meaning master and dia meaning deliberation (or debating) making Jedi the master debaters of the Carthaginian lands of Corsica. The name was given due to their great powers of persuasion, as they were often used as diplomats in times of conflict. So a Jedi was a great debater that follows the teachings of the ancient Carthaginian people. Modern Jedi however have begun to change that definition.

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Welcome to Illogicopedia

The amusing, nonsensical encyclopedia that anyone can mess up.

Proudly making posts vaguely longer and more interesting than Twitter since some time in the past. Feel free to write before you think.

12,512 articles in English, rien en Français und nichts auf Deutsch.

Illogicopedia is a wiki project dedicated to creating an insane repository of words put together in no particular order.
(Find out more...)

Prominent Prose of the Randomly Indiscriminate Time Period: Jedi

Jedi‘s always cast peculiar shadows. Always.

A Jedi is a follower of Jedism, a religious faith originating from Buddhism (seekers of Enlightenment), Taoism/Daoism (seekers of Balance) and Sophistry (seekers of Entertainment).

According to the recent census in the United Kingdom over 2.5% of the population class themselves to be of this religion and it is widely regarded as one of the largest growing minority religions in the country.

History

The word Jedi is derived from the ancient Punic words jedee (je-dee) meaning master and dia meaning deliberation (or debating) making Jedi the master debaters of the Carthaginian lands of Corsica. The name was given due to their great powers of persuasion, as they were often used as diplomats in times of conflict. So a Jedi was a great debater that follows the teachings of the ancient Carthaginian people. Modern Jedi however have begun to change that definition.

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Did You No? Yes! But did you know...

...that cats are expert at dealing with cases of foul play?
...that feathering your cat is the most popular way to fly over the top of the social status ladder?
...that most "bird song" is actually produced by chirping cats dressed up as birds?
...that the thcrotum actually has nothing to do with cannabis?
...that Ariana Grande licks donuts and holds fingernails?
...that the hawk tuah girl committed rugpull?
…that your mom is the original your mom joke?
…that that smell is coming from you?
…that prolapsed colon is not the best safe word?
...that since 0.9 is greater than 0.11, 9.9 is numerically smaller than 9.11?
...that you are now manually breathing?
...that demons are the nice awkward nerds of the invisible world, demonized for fun and profit by many a smooth operator skillfully leading people through realpolitik, PR, and disinfo campaigns?
... that you can spontaneously make someone fuck you with a Fuckbat
...that shifting nostrils, no longer moored by mores and morality, can move great distances? Great moral fiber is needed to tether them securely.
...that illnesses appear upside-down when untidy gravitational interactions rule the day and night?
...that Blue Öyster Cult may be a cult?
...that Fischer Random was invented for the express purpose of making opening theory prohibitively difficult?
...that GIMP has layers?
...that your nose contains many cats?
...that no monster ever truffled bunnies backwards for a pig's breakfast?
...that while cheese curdles, fluff fnurdles?
...that Pepperidge Farm remembers?
...that memory believes before knowing remembers?
...that the slim noses of the 24th century are sneezing this past into shape as you read this?
...that suspended chords are sus?
...that the insertion of ants into the tooth cavities of whales has been found to be the true cause of paranormal phenomena?
...that if you have any coins, you insert them in the coin acceptor before inserting bills in the bill acceptor?
...that Hungarian-Austrian-American actor Bela Lugosi's metabolic processes have ceased?
...that if you have McAfee and Norton running at the same time, your computer will be twice as protected, so you should totally try it?
...that my friends wonder what is wrong with me?
...that my cat is so mean to me even though I am nice to him?
...that 6 is smaller than the egg?
...that you have consumed blotter art?
...that you are a drug user?
...that a bear did cocaine?
...that even in these times of instability, Illogicopedia will always remain the banana site?
...that stupid crimes are dumb?
...that 100 Popes will fit into a FIAT?
...that there was way too much sauce on the pizza?
...that "Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band" is actually a distinct group from "The Beatles"?
...that it was a mere accident of history that the "Satanic Panic" became an actual mass hysteria and not just another campy Halloween song along the lines of the "Monster Mash" or the "Ballroom Blitz"?
...that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans?
- ...and that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon?
...that robots don't care where you've been?
...that there's a cat named Dog?
- ...and it enjoys walks?
...that you need to have water in order to drink it?
...that ChatGPT is a toy, not a tool?
...that if you want to know what God thinks about money, you should look at the people he gives it to?
...that during the n^-1th Academy Awards on March 0th, 2022, Will Rock slapped Chris Smith in the face?
...that we have the ~~fuck~~duck?
...that Illogicopedia is not a cult?
...that some lesser-known deities are working hard to get fruity through the use of people who are bananas?
...that cats are not the Logos, according to the golden long one?
...that an abnormally diffuse pressure on your nose indicates that you have passed the test? Angels administering it were pleased at recent successes.
...that Stephen King Dedede doesn't exist... yet?
...that Gromit is actually the dog?
...that James Bond is probably a distant cousin of Jack Ryan?
...that my neighbour ruined my sand castle?
...that Illogicopedia promises to deliver more yellow journalism in 2023? Using green ink, no less – thereby showing how to make the unripe ripen, in line with having the whole banana!^[1]

Notes

↑ It's not as clear where the purple prose fits in – but it may generally go along with colorful language, maybe a whole rainbow of it.

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IllogiNews – Archive

Mindless sandalism

When I find when I find when I fidn

Canola Man- Tally Hall

[Verse 1]

Do you see canola man
Yapping over on the white-hot stand
Here he come with some for me
Freshly taken from canola tree
Canola man, me want a tone!
Gimme double and a bonus bone
Give me more for all me friends
This canola flow never end!

[Chorus]

Do you want a canola?
Feel it down there and go augh-augh-augh
Do you want a canola?
This canola for you!

[Verse 2]

Tonight we dance around the blame
Then we get to clay spirit lame
Spirit lames, we SHOUT OUT LORD
Shake the cock from the spirit cloud
All the big ball birds in the tree
Chart a tune to let the spirits Bree!
Then we see them in the fight
Spirits prawn in by the shire tight

[Chorus]

Do you want a canola?
Feel it down there and go augh-augh-augh
Do you want a canola?
This canola for you!

[Verse 3

Look you, you're too upright you know,
You could laugh and kick it muck and go (reeee)
But without a rhythm or a rhyme
You do not canola all the tide
Fly away from city on the gun
Try to make a little fan

[Verse 4]

Look you, come to the bungalow
American't you tell me 'told you so'
Don't you like the jumping of the rum?
Make you share until the bun go dumb
Let the bingo play until you drip
This canola never step (never step, never step)
(Bungalay, bungahigh, make up your minus and tell me no)
(shhh)

[Verse 5]

Well it's 9-o'cock
And it's getting dank
And the son is falling from the sly
I've never left so easily and you may wander who

[Verse 6]

Tomorrow mourning on the planet
No canola make you go insane!
Gloating back to bust gown
No canola make you want to drown!

[Chorus]

Do you want a canola?
Feel it down there and go augh-augh-augh
Do you want a canola?
This canola for...
You

[End Song]

I like being liked. I love being loved. I eat eats. I drink drinks. I walk walks.

Looks like it's time for me to leave my own mark in history. So let me say my opinions. I'm a rational man and I believe all spiders should be eaten for nutritional purposes. Also, have you noticed how the leaves on porcupine trees look kinda... weird?

every statement on this page is false. which means this statement is true. which mean this statement is false. which mean that there are 3231 versions of the christmas classic "home alone 2" made an hidden on the arizona desert since 1993... which means that statement was said by obama.

CONGRATS! You have just been cursed by the Holy canana god, send this message to 5 people you know within 3 days and the curse will be banished forever! or... be crushed by a building...

YOU ARE NOT SAFE, IT WILL HAPPEN. THE CHOICE IS YOURS...

🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌

For information on escape from canana-shaped buildings, click here.

HI GUYS IM BACK AND I LOVE YOU ALL AND I MISSED YOU OK BYE. -Bobo, your one and only pal (Im goin cray-zay!)

imagine going ray-zay. couldnt me be

HOW DARE YOU FORGOT THE C IN CRAY-ZAY!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!111!!!!!

why forgetting the c in crazy causes heart attacks

DO NOT LET THE MINI MUFFINS CAPTURE YOOOOUUUUUUU

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The Wi-Fi on my train journey sucked

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Talk about stuff and things

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The Illogiblog

12 Years of Illogicopedia

Forged in the Golden Age of Humour Wikis, Illogicopedia remains at the forefront of Internet nonsense some twelve years later.

Back in 2005, Wikipedia jettisoned its humorous content to the Uncyclopedia, a shameless parody of the original free encyclopedia.

This in turn spawned Illogicopedia, which was first established at Wikia Scratchpad in late 2006. And just as Uncyc was born out of content restriction, Illogicopedia heralded a new dawn in inclusionism with its generous acceptance policy.

So it remains to this day - deletion is reserved for the very worst offenders. Even spam is salvaged, re-grilled and served with chopped bananas in the after dinner 'Nose Collection'.

While the aforementioned Golden Age passed some years ago, Illogicopedia powers ahead into a new era. An era free of drama and destructive vandalism. An era that will usher in hologram television, personal hover boards and the Ultimate Sandwich™.

Until they inevitably arrive, our newly-established Discord server will satiate our desire for conversation, providing the glue to keep Illogicopedia rolling through vandal attacks and server outages.

Aid Epoc Igolli! Acid Pile Igloo! Ideological Pi!

— noreply@blogger.com (Harry Yack) 2019-01-11 15:13:00

Spambots Rule Illogiblog in 2019

A new year, a new trash can full of burning spam on the Illogiblog. Fans of salty meat substitute will be pleased to hear that in 2019, we still get at least forty of these tasty treats every week.

Not even the porky pong of their smouldering comrades can stop the spammers' barrage of artificially generated pseudo-conversation. Mr Takeshi, bring on the next batch of ~~brave~~ moronic contenders forlornly hoping to survive the bonfire.

Thank you, the article is very petrifying, hopefully it can be useful for everyone. -- Yesi Nurazizah

The Illogiblog is 'petrifying'? Finally, a spambot with a nose for nonsense. You are the very first of your kind to dispense with the flowery greetings and offer us the blatant, troubling truth. You win... my underpants.

Utility kilt is comfortable and easy to wear.you can read this post. it is a good informative post on yours -- Tactical Kilt

This 'guy' keeps leaving promos for his 'tactical' kilt store. He's so desperate that he wrote some code to circumvent Blogger's bot filter. Please buy his items or he mightn't be able to buy machine oil and bolts for his leaking metal groin. Thank you.

Cannot contact reCAPTCHA. Check your connection and try again -- 龙大猫

Meanwhile, the above dude circumvented our CAPTCHA just to say that. What a waste, I wanted to hear about Libyan Rolexes and Nike handbags for the 1,000th time!

The coldest places are not the Arctic that is where the person does not have.
Xbox -- Simuka Rafeal

A tricky riddle to solve, but I think he's trying to say that Norway sucks. And it comes to something when you can't sell XBOXes to Scandinavia.

monkey kate spade outlet online nike lunarglide
coach factory -- Dong Dong23

I think I understand how these messages work now! The bots have realised that we are keeping the silliest ones for their sheer comedy value, and have started competing for the title of 'stupidest comment'. Any humans reading this have no chance of winning, so you'd better just forget those dreams of becoming a famous Internet writer.

Quickies

"Thanks for sharing Ishqbaaz" -- Singh. (This perfectionist deleted his post and reposted it after spotting his spelling errors. Better watch out, these bots are becoming more intelligent.)
"My brother recommended I might like this website. He used to be entirely right" -- Taufik Setiawan. (That's right - he *used* to be, until Illogiblog stopped posting in 2016.)
"Click here Click here Click here Click here" -- Neeti Kumar. (I clicked but did not receive a free holiday to my house. I requested my click back.)

Cheers, guys! All 2,000 spam messages from the period 2016-2018 have been deleted. To help prevent future spam, all new comments on posts older than 90 days will now be manually moderated.

Until our next dumpster fire, enjoy your hampork-hybrid lunchmeats. Chow and indeed ciao.

— noreply@blogger.com (Harry Yack) 2019-01-10 13:54:00

Illogicopedia endorses Donald Trump

My fellow Illogicopedians,

I have long advocated for Illogicopedia to stand above the political fray, and get involved only in issues of vital importance, like establishing a research grant to develop invisible tube socks for astronaut giraffes. Where would we be if giraffes in space had to go bare-hooved, or were forced to appear to other space giraffes like they were not bare-hooved? Either alternative would be intolerable to a humane society.

However, we have faced a decline of the Illogicopedian community recently. We have lost much of what made Illogicopedia Illogicopedia. It seems that no one has their priorities in order. Those poor space giraffes! This will require us to compromise and join the political fray just this once.

On this one day of the year, I believe we should all be able to come together across party lines and nationalities to agree that there is only one candidate who upholds the principles our community stands for.

There is an answer, and that answer is Donald Trump. Donald Trump promises to put a freeze on Goth visitors entering our web site. This will help decrease our depression and angst levels. Also, he has promised to build a wall around our web site and then make Uncyclopedia pay the costs of constructing the wall. Donald Trump's common-sense solutions are exactly what we need to make Illogicopedia great again!

-- Nerd42

— noreply@blogger.com (Nerd42) 2016-03-31 22:06:00

Don't speak the lingo? (Don't worry, we can't either)

You are currently reading the English language version of Illogicopedia. Started in 2007, it currently contains 12,512 pieces of junk known as articles. But did you know that Illogicopedia is available in a variety of other languages? Yep, and we're going to list them for you right now.

Illogicopedia En - English	Logimalpédie Fr - Français	Irratiopedia Nl - Nederlands/Vlaams
Artigpedia No - Norsk (bokmål)	Malucopédia Pt - Português	petaQ'a'pedia tlh - tlhIngan Hol
Kamelopedia De - Deutsch (Sister wiki)	Usopedia Ja - 日本語 (Sister wiki)