“Hey, look man. Mormons were against slavery before it was cool. Mormons are the original hipsters!”
Mormons are religious ninjas, and zeal is their sword.
“Wait ... an intangible concept can't be a physical weapon!”
They come to your house on their magic flying bicycles, sort of like Mary Poppins, and use magic religious kung fu, which unfortunately only works for two years. They go back in time and turn indians into aliens into Jews and back into alien indian ninjas again. They invented lots of cool new words and other stuff.
If you see their magic bicycles coming into your town, look out because you could get abducted, de-religious-ified, and re-religious-ified again. You may also end up inadvertantly committing xenocide or running for President like Joseph Smith and Mitt Romney, inventing television like Philo T. Farnsworth or appearing on television like Battlestar Galactica.