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Welcome to Illogicopedia

The nonsensical encyclopedia that anyone can mess up.

Proudly making posts vaguely more interesting and longer than twitter since some time in the past.

IllogiBooks:Dear Diary Vampire
Darkgenome

6,484 articles in English, rien en français und nichts auf Deutsch.

Illogicopedia is a wiki project dedicated to creating an insane repository of words put together in no particular order. (Find out more...)

Current Featured Article: [[What's the Point?]]

So I says, "What's the point?"

The baker looks at me and says, "Ye' want a Danish or not?"

And I say, "No, I'm not very fond of Denmark thank you very much. I would much rather have a pastry similar to a bagel with no hole."

The baker stares at me oddly, "You mean a Danish."

I looked at him oddly as well, "No. I mean what I said. I don't like Denmark. The Little Mermaid? Terrible book."

The baker sighed, "Okay. I'll see what we have in the back."

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([[What's the Point?|Read more]])

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Last Quarter's Featured Article: The Green Ball (Uncensored Version) (hover to show)

SCENE 1 EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET – DAY

Wide shot: street, slow zoom in, with children playing. It's a bright and sunny day. Yes, the setting of this story is actually quite pleasant.

Narrator: “"And so begins the day when children play, to fill their spouts with honey and clay. But will it end in the exact same way? Or for our heroes, be it their last day...?"

It won’t be of course, since it’s not real.

Camera stops zooming in. Kids stop playing and look at the camera.

Narrator: The writer could make the characters invincible if he wanted. Besides, the writer prefers doing happy endings… what? Oh sorry, I’ll keep quiet.

Camera starts to zoom in again. Kids continue to play.

Narrator: “The tale begins on Hallowe'en down at a conspicuous police department…

(Read more)

Did you know...

... Your Pets Will Not Be Flagged For Removal By Jesus During the Rapture?
... that for every human there are nine chickens, but nobody gets to eat them because they're all in Saddam Hussein's freezer?
... that going down a hill places it in terminal decline?
... that I am who I am, because I am an Iams cat.
... that sometimes...
- ...that sometimes I think of [[<insert name here>|you]] at night.
... that you are made up of trillions of tiny living creatures called cells, which when put under the microscope all look exactly like a tiny microbe version of you.
... that if you find the secret guitar chord, you win the Game of Life?
- ... incidentally, it's E7sus9 (Nth formation)
... that mathematics is neither big nor clever, just irritating?
... that I swear my toast just bit me?
- ... oh no, the prophecies are true!
... that WE'RE BACK BABY?!?!?!??!?
... that Monday is so depressed it's technically an emo?
... that yeast is technically alive?
- ... ALIVE!?!??!!
  - ...Puts down piece of bread OH NO!
... that I just called to say I love you?
... that if there's a bustle in your hedgerow don't be alarmed now, it's just a spring clean for the May queen?
... that you can be rest assured in the knowledge that years from now the former /b/tards will have life-shortening arthritis from typing LOLOLOLOLOLO LOLOLO LOL OMG OVER9000 too many times?
... that fried bread + the square root of pie is an oxo cube sandwich?
... that this those these thus?
... that E = M.C. Hammer?
... that X is the sum of all the equation's parts, while Y is a guilt-ridden bag of nerves?
... that no one cares about copyright theft?
... that scourge is the scourge of the galaxy?
... that love counts as two of your five a day, and bitter soul-crushing loneliness is behind most scurvy cases?
... that comas are an effective form of escapism?
... that when the sky falls in on us Chicken Little won't have the last laugh because he's roasting at gas mark 7 in a pie?
... that this isn't just a didyouknow, this is an M&S didyouknow?
... that the Konami Code won't help you here, beeyatch?
- ... though post-race scrutineering may well be of help?
... that there is a fair chance you may catch a dispirited influenza if you run hard enough at a billboard?
... that none of us has ever (well some of us have but anyway) and that's all there is to it?
... that I have not written any of these did-you-knows (or maybe it was someone else who didn't do it)?
... that as much as I can remember, there is always something in the hardware store that the postman and keep it simple?
... that while you might have known some of this before, there is never a way you could make me believe you did?
... that though Sigmand Freud may have had a thing for his mother, his facebook profile indicated that they were in fact just friends?
... that the afterlife just consists of bored people sitting around watching review of the year shows?
... that cactuses are leading the ambiguous join-the-dot genre in tattoos?
... that if Fred has 2.5 miles to travel, and walks at a speed of 4 miles an hour with a wind resistance of 45 slowing him down to 3 mph for 0.5 of the journey he won't make it to school in time for the maths exam?
... that to catch a criminal you must first think like a net?
... that you get a dead rat boat rabbit in the grand piano now, with every purchase?
... that I had a good Alzheimer's joke but I can't for the life of me remember it?
... that the Grinch was convicted in absentia at Nuremberg of being an accomplice to Hitler Claus?
... that there is a correlation between the prevalence of criminals in an area and local crime rates?
... that something something something pun?
... that the consumption Walkers crisps actually reduces your capacity to walk?
... that Santie Claus now gives wind turbines to bad children?
... that ... umm, like yeah?
... that everybody knows it?
... that I'm about to give you Sweet Chin Music? ~Taps chin rhythmically~
... that German Sausage Dog's eat big sausages when they're born, which makes them shaped like a hot tasty sausage barmcake?
... that the Oddity has no appendix?
... That I Am the Walrus!?
... That he really is the Walrus?
... That a bird on the hand is worth considerably less than one in the bush, owing to their poor hand-job giving skills?
... That I don't know much, ...but I know I love you?
... That humans probably won't evolve wings in either of our lifetimes.
... That by 2045 the internet will have been replaced by a giant omnipresent marrow?
... that in the spring of 2046 said marrow will be destroyed by zealous Cornish farmers, desperate to ensure they alone win the best vegetable prize at that years village féte, thus dooming humanity forever?

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<p></p> Happy St. Hardwick's Day!

Article whoring rules!

THIS IS AN ADVERTISEMENT

The spirit of Dadaism lives on in this 3,746 part magazine collection, to be completed by the year 3012. Buy Issue 1 now for the reduced price of just seven milk bottle caps!

ADVERTISEMENT ENDS

Old people, stomach ulcers and paedophiles smell really bad. I sense a connection.

Guess wut? Those livers got beaten by them thar wigs. Burleave it babay! Time for a FFFFARTY!!! YESSSSS!!

PARP! PARP! PARAPPA THE RAP-PARP!

Testostereich has a smelly bottom! Tee hee

Now see here Jimmy, this is no exponential function, if anything it's closer to logisitc. Either way, the average amplitude of the meridium proves slightly, wait, is that Shaun White? I need an autograph!

<<<<<@@@@@~~@@@~~@@@@@>>>>>

I would just like to take this opportunity to say 'fnurdlepoop'. -- Fnurr Dell 22:37, 15 Farbleum 2010 (UTC)

Brilliant, you found it? Aw thanks a bunch Dave, I'd been looking for that EVERYWHERE.

...Billroy?

So you thought twiddling knobs was a profitable hobby did ya? Well, actually it is these days, what with the increasing number of blatant raging homosexuals. Dang it, I'm sure I could have communicated that more subtly.

I PROCLAIM IT TO BE SKATE DAY

Awww right, a SHOE!

So you wanna beat me at hide and seek do ya..

Every night I look up at the night's sky and dream of how great things will be in the future, when I have a wife, job, kids, and fat people to push over on tap. A very, very, big tap.

....

"Wow, look at the size of that!"

"Keep your voice down Billroy, loud noises anger the tap."

Life is a natural part of death. <<<< --- Truth.

[Scene: Kitchen]

Mom: Timmy, it's your turn to do the dishes.

Timmy: You can't be serious Mom. I did them last month!

Mom: Oh, I'm serious. Dead serious.

[Dies]

Timmy: Mommy? Yes, no dishes!

And so the tale of stupendous heroism ends with appreciation of buckets and their many uses, icluding strangling your mother

I AM THE LUNAR DEITY OF LUNAR DEITISM

Haha, I can vandalise your vandalism, parrot boy! ;)

I CAN VANDALISE. I AM SO COOL.

[Enters UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A]

[Giant monster comes and eats reader]

Internet Exploder exploded my gonads. OrLOL ANUS was that my underpants?

What the shinola?

Flying like a shark in the sky.

More... – Add your mad gibber >>>

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After a month of strange activity at the Illogicopedia, much chemistry was in the air. Those mad scientists had been at it again, and on this occasion their meddling caused more than just a two-week server blip... it created a monster that combined the very worst parts of The Definitive Articled One and a very hairy Tibetan yak. Somehow, by fair means or foul, that hideous being managed to win Illogicopedian of the Month.

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Just created • Wanted • Orphaned • Dead-end • Unfinished • Needing help • For deletion • For highlight • For creation

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The strange correspondence project

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From Illogicopedia

Welcome to Illogicopedia

The nonsensical encyclopedia that anyone can mess up.

Proudly making posts vaguely more interesting and longer than twitter since some time in the past.

IllogiBooks:Dear Diary Vampire
Darkgenome

6,484 articles in English, rien en français und nichts auf Deutsch.

Illogicopedia is a wiki project dedicated to creating an insane repository of words put together in no particular order. (Find out more...)

Current Featured Article: [[What's the Point?]]

Last Quarter's Featured Article: The Green Ball (Uncensored Version) (hover to show)

Did you know...

Hot Off The Press:

Seemed like a good idea at the time

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Main Page/old

From Illogicopedia

Welcome to Illogicopedia

The nonsensical encyclopedia that anyone can mess up.

Proudly making posts vaguely more interesting and longer than twitter since some time in the past.

IllogiBooks:Dear Diary Vampire Darkgenome

6,484 articles in English, rien en français und nichts auf Deutsch.

Illogicopedia is a wiki project dedicated to creating an insane repository of words put together in no particular order. (Find out more...)

Current Featured Article: [[What's the Point?]]

Last Quarter's Featured Article: The Green Ball (Uncensored Version) (hover to show)

Did you know...

Hot Off The Press:

Seemed like a good idea at the time

Anti-feature

This month's featured writer

Add articles >>>Articles recently brewed

Views

Personal tools

Navigation

Community

Featured content

Article management

Languages

Search

Toolbox

In other languages

IllogiBooks:Dear Diary Vampire
Darkgenome

Add articles >>>
Articles recently brewed